Graduated. Intelligent and eloquent, but I use the word 'fuck' a lot. Technically an adult, but I still chant 'righty tighty, lefty loosey' to get crap done. I have a killer sense of humor and will talk to anyone so dont be afraid to message me!! I dont judge because ive got a story crazier than your wildest dreams. Dont bitch at me about what I think or ship. If it bothers you so much, get off my page. Have a fantastic day

 

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germanicprincess:

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germanicprincess:

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You could give me 67 years to do my homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before

Screw the night before, try the hour before lol.

Due tomorrow? Do tomorrow.

Exactly. Got 10 minutes left? Ok, let’s get started.

I started and finished a 2,000 word paper on the day it was due, turned it in and got the full 250 points it was worth. Procrastination is fine

thefourteenthdoctor:

watchtheskytonight:

spirit-of-the-ocean:

my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such 

then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud

IT’S BACK

I’m sure that’s what he thought.

(Source: leannaheart)

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Have you ever walked into a room and forgot why you were there? Yeah. Thats how I lost my job as a firefighter

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Me-*pulls door that should be pushed, it doesn’t open*
Stranger- You push it
Me- Hey, thanks. My next move was going to be lifting from the bottom

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Me: I’m so hungry. *walks into kitchen to get food*
Mom: I’m making dinner.
Me: So…no snacks then?

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Hey, stop scrolling. In my area in the past month there has been two suicides, I’m in a small town. These kids were only 12&14. I was reading this thing and it said every forty seconds theres a suicide. Forty seconds. So while you’re brushing your teeth, two more people have died. While you are…

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The kid next door challenged me to a water fight, so I’m making this text post while the water boils

Bringing this back because comedy gold

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The kid next door challenged me to a water fight, so I’m making this text post while the water boils